HEY APATHY ! ALTERNATIVE COMICS
AFTER THE HARVEST...The communications came like none any of us ever imagined. There were no vocal sounds, no translators, no telepathy, not even in dreams. It was like everyone, everyone still alive that is, had known it as common knowledge since generations past. We all knew how easy it had been for the extraterrestrials to over take us and we all knew of their mocking narration.
With sciences far advanced from those here on earth, the aliens had spotted our third rock telescopically approximately 200,000 years ago. Despite their superior equipment the images took longer to return than initially expected. However, by extraordinary marvels of deduction the beings were accurately able to predict man's evolutionary coarse. Although the flight to planet earth would last millennia by our calendar, our attackers had planned to face man as you see us today, a fully evolved, intelligent, organized and potentially destructive creature.
Their method of assimilation would require much subtlety for a radioactive planet would prove of little use to these sentient vegetations. The strategy was as follows, first they would hide under the earth’s surface and infect our crops. A chemical agent was produced capable of removing all nutrients from our menu. The affected supplies would look brighter or bigger, and prove highly addictive. These cosmic intruders would also introduce new habit forming potions and rituals. These vices would provide vast and extraordinarily pleasurable experiences upon consumption while secretly proving depressive and fatal.
Once the masses were physically diminished, the populace was to under go a widespread mesmeric plague. The second stage of the invasion involved the transmitting of singular and reductive reasoning in all modes of our media. Through excessive exposure to repetitious sounds, light sources and demeaned typeface, the human mind could be reduced to incompetence. The final initiation before conquest was to then turn all men against each other for divided planets fall. This they planned on accomplishing by allocating our wealth inappropriately, depleting our resources, and inciting racism through propaganda.
Once all this was achieved, our visitors could grow unstoppably enormous, sprout from the grounds and settle right in. While their predictions were amazingly accurate in regards to our physical progress, even these humourless creatures laughed when they arrived. There was no need for caution nor extenuative plans! The beings were not required to brood underground whilst painstakingly softening and poisoning our health. Nor were they inclined to subversively infiltrate landside to fret with our minds. No, in one single movement, extraterrestrial vines the size of New York fell from the sky. These terrible monstrosities simply took over the globe and there was nothing to be done! We had already well prepared ourselves for the almighty harvest!.
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