ALTERNATIVE COMICS The Big Show

HEY APATHY! Alternative Comics

The Big Show came to town last week and it was truly an incredible sight! Of all the television shows, reality based or otherwise, the Big Show has always been my favourite and by far the longest running. I remember when I was a child watching the program broadcast from the world all over and I remember being terrified ( as children are far more susceptible to such fears) accordingly with the varied presence. The program, with which you are certainly aware, is more often than not quite terrifying yet despite it’s harsh pragmatism fairs well as, up until now, it has always taken place in foreign lands. The plot is very simple and deliberately repetitive, but that what makes it so palatable for we know the good guys always win. Each episode depicts some sort of rebel rousing resultant in street violence at which time the heroes always rush and retain order. The protagonists, of course, are the Big Show Boys in Black, an magnificent troupe of patriotic officers undefeated in their mission to maintain justice. My earliest recollections involved their successful dethroning of an evil government bent on forcing the people of that land ( I don’t remember which one) into living in poverty, starvation, and desolation while the kingdom was drowned in golden riches. Needless to say that the Show overthrew the terrible King and proudly opened a Fast Food Franchise in celebration of the victory. No more would those starving outlanders have to eat unhealthily useless rations, the Show had brought burgers to that strange and far off land!

Since that time of confused terror remedied by the almighty burger, the show has roared on battling in the name of humanity where ever it was called for. In fact I suspect that the Show has been on longer than I even remember for my great grandfather’s notebook suggests it used on the radio before T.V. Of course it could never have been so fantastic nor believable without the moving pictures, I mean it’s one thing to hear a fire or bullet but another to marvel in visual effects. On top of all that the villains could never have been so villainous without the assistance of a close cropped image to reveal the hideousness of their eyes. Oh how amazing it is to watch freedom triumph! How amazing it is to watch the world as it is freed!

Given my obvious and unabashed fascination with the episode you can only imagine how excited I was when only a few years ago the show started producing special episodes in places closer to home. Yes I saw some reruns from way back which were filmed in familiar locations, but the clothes and cars were all funny looking and the film used to be grainy. These episodes, though entertaining, lacked the shocking immediacy of today’s programming appearing even more distant that the real time excursions from exotic lands. Thus the syndications always seemed as though they were staged and lacked excitement as the outcome was never in question. Not that it is ever in question, but that slight possibility of unwanted disaster keeps us all tuning in for more. Needless to say when the Show started touring cities on this continent, I not only tuned in more frequently but found that the broadcasts had quadrupled.

Then, in the most incredibly excited moment of all of my days, the announcements were made during a promo that the Big Show was coming to town! How I jumped for joy at this most glorious opportunity, at last I could stand in the studio audience, maybe even participate in my wildest fantastical dream! Immediately I went to the barber’s to have my head cleared and a shave. I purchased the latest and most elegant suit and hat and even had my teeth cleaned. In the weeks leading up to the grand event I exercised and ate especially well for I wouldn’t like to caught on film looking anything shy of my best. ( Don’t tell anyone but I even went so far as to spend a bit of the grocery credits on a few minor Botox injections) Yes I was more than ready for my chance to be a star.

The production started a few days prior to the shoot and I was fortunate to watch all the proceedings. First they installed the camera’s and soon afterwards came the flying machines. Overhead I could see airplanes and many, many helicopters and my enthusiasm pumped ripened adrenaline in and out through my veins Celebrity announcements were made and Show Boys arrived, followed by hordes of fans. People from all over the country showed up to celebrate the Big Show. I first spotted the cast on bicycles, then in cars and even (my heart is melting) posing undercover so as to avoid paparazzi entanglements. The city was buzzing and entirely changed as the stage was setting I had little doubt that this was going to be an excellent episode.

At the same time as the perimeter players were occupying the city, the game was put into place and the rules all sorted out. The best part of the Show is always the game. Though I previously mentioned that the plot is never dissimilar, the game always changes. Some times the Show Boys invade villainous territory, other times they defend locations of there own. As a reality program the extra’s are always made out of a live audience among which the villains often inconspicuously and blatantly reside. This time it was sort of a defending race in which the participants were challenged to conquer a strategic maze with the ultimate goal of viewing or breeching a protected sector. It is also of note that the general public is encouraged to participate in any of the challenges which makes the visitation of the program all the more stimulating. The gated territory was constructed at the same time as the perimeter processions. At first, as if to give the public and villains a chance, the area was openly accessible but was abruptly sealed off and guarded shortly prior to the broadcast. “How exhilarating!” I thought to my self as the Show Boys surrounded me when I unknowingly trotted to close to set.

When I say “unknowingly” it is not that I do not know my city well, only that I obviously misconstrued the boundaries of the arena for I stayed well away from the fence. I didn’t want to cheat or to be disqualified early so decidedly retained all my normal habits and routines. My neighbourhood is quiet and a distance from the stage, yet I was stopped, intimidated and searched four times before the performance commenced. It was like a dream come true and I found myself gushing under the pressure of the surrounding celebrity. Imagine me buying groceries and being interrogated by the Show Boys! Alas I am boasting but the experience was feverishly enlightened and you would all feel the same way had you been caught in the spotlight with such stars.

At any rate the show started in schedule and the streets filled with thousands of participants, fans and villains, marching through the street ready to obtain the prizes presented full force. Myself, I cared little about reaching the aforementioned goal, as I was proud enough to witness the play unfold first hand. I walked and marched through the streets, the alleys and the parks but to little or no avail. The show was not so exciting and with the exception of a few congested corners I was greatly disappointed. People were shopping and eating and I watched some parades roll by. There was a lot of music and costumes but little of the show’s regular zeal. At first I avoided the safety zone, for any regular viewer knows that nothing happens there until later in the program, but the action was nil. In fact I was so disappointed that I returned home on this most anticipated day.

Upon arriving in my apartment I turned on the tele and much to my surprise the show started to pay off! The villains had attacked and the streets had turned to chaos! There were cars burning and much vandalism and the Show Boys were taking action. It was invigoratingly fulfilling to see all the action normally associated with the Show. Recognizing the locations I rushed out to the street and made my way to were the excitement had been! I admit witnessing the production was slightly disappointing as the same event portrayed with majesty on the screen were calm and nearly disinteresting in real life. The terror seemed less real, even somewhat staged and most certainly on a smaller scale than the television suggested. Nevertheless I was very pleased to stand face to face with a line of armed and shielded superstars as I watched a precariously placed Show vehicle burning filling the sky with a beautiful cloud of smoke. Satisfied and delighted I strolled the streets some more discovering some minor damage but little more.

Had only I stayed for shortly there after the show reached it’s pinnacle and the Boy’s took control. Shots were fired and people were arrested and trampled. More cars set a flame and the everything turned fantastic. The Show Boy’s started to take prisoner’s. 900 by the end, and me wandering the streets endlessly surrounded by tourists, shoppers and peaceful supporting fans. I made my way up to the safety zone but was denied access. Damn! The second act must have already started. The safety zone is always trouble but you’d have to make it in good time. So I returned home once again to track the progress.

The television showed me all the wondrous this that I missed including the seizure of the safety zone and the Boy’s triumph over denizens at the very location I’d only just been! No one had found the fence and the villains put on a good fright, but the Show Boy’s were muscling in a I knew the game was finished. The entire weekend was amazing and I don’t regret my ill-timed march for the video captured footage was enough for me. I saw all my favourite scenarios from episodes past played out my city. I even saw a number of my friends who got to be captured live on the show. One of them was even jumped and beaten but I promised my self not to be too jealous. Watching the show like this brought about a new devotion, so much so that I cannot express how proud I am to live hear.

The show packed up after two days of wonderful footage leaving the city as swiftly as it came. I’ve been watching the clips over and over and I never get bored. This must be how New Yorker’s feel when they read comics or watch movies. The backdrop makes me fell included in the magic. The foreign episodes seem to pale as entertainment in comparison though I cannot escape a sense of new brotherhood with those places previously featured. And so the greatest event of my life, the day the Big Show came to town, had ended. The fence came down and the audience went home. Even the T.V. and the news report pretended like it never happened. For a short time I was overcome by depression likely quite normal to one who has been overly stimulated but my empty feelings didn’t last long. No, I am observant and I fanatic follower of the Show, that I soon realized there was no need for my distain. First I saw that the Show helicopter’s had stayed on in abundance despite the closed production, then I noticed an unusually large group of Show Cars boxing in a football celebration and then, be still my beating heart which skipped a beat, I saw a row of 15 Show Boys riding bicycles around the intersection where I live. Like I said I am virtually a student of this great program, it’s plots and scripts, and I am most happily certain that they plan to film here again soon.

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